In my innocence I had scoured the streets of London to no avail, I knew what I wanted but not really where. I felt disappointed, London seemed to be j...st too big a place to search for such a specific dream after all.Then it struck me, it had been obvious really, searching inside the telephone boxes, advertisements offering the service I would want should be there. I looked for the nearest booth and quickly entered. I was right, plastered all over the inside of the phone-box were dozens of. But on the third day, I began to see a little bit out of my left eye.”Canada ... Home of the Free!TRANSLATING WOMEN’S ENGLISHYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoWe need = I wantI’m sorry = You’ll be sorryWe need to talk = I need to complainSure, go ahead = I don’t want you toIs my bum fat? = Tell me I’m beautifulDo what you want = You’ll pay for this laterI’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re deadYou have to learn to communicate = Just agree with meBe. I thought nothing more of it, just bumping into old friends, until she called me.She had got my number from the birthday boy and, if I didn’t mind, could we meet for coffee. She told me she had a favour to ask about her computer. We met, had a nice chat and discussed her computer problem. She had recently changed broadband suppliers and was having trouble moving everything across. No problem I said, I can fix it any time.We agreed the following day and so there I was, at her dining table,. "It''s all yours. Payment for an afternoons work. We'll call it a'wardrobe study' if you like. Perfectly legal and above board," Ted said."And since that's the case, how about standing up for me, in front of thecouch over there where there's some room."Tim felt his head spin slightly but he got up and moved to the center ofthe room. Ted looked on. He noticed the seams of the nylons and heardthe zip as Tim minced and noticed the sheen of the blouse and the jiggleof the large breast forms.