Or better to share her life with.’ The pain in his eyes was deep and crippling. I asked, ‘Do you want me to move out?’ ‘No, I want you here. I...cannot imagine a day without you or not having your warm body next to me in our bed. But, I want you to not let me love you and not let me believe you will come home to me. I don’t want to hurt like I am hurting.’ Todd could not stand any more. He had not slept last night while I frolicked. He had believed in me, trusted me and loved me while I fucked. The last year had turned into a ride through her sexual (some would say perverted) fantasies.In the time that had passed from the first four months that she had lived with him, she had again shown to be too weak to prevent an orgasm without first getting permission and after a few sessions at the tattoo parlor now had a visible reminder of her disobedience. The tattoo was made up of two Ivy vines, which start wrapped around the second and fourth toes of her right foot and go around her whole. Her body hurt and she was tired. So tired that all she wanted to do was lay down and sleep. She was also aware that through the haze of exhaustion her thoughts kept on going back and reliving the horror of being held down against her will on the bed in the inn, being made love too, no ... being fucked ... that was the right word to use ... being fucked ... with everyone watching. Not being able to move. Powerless. Controlled.Nena felt a sudden emptiness in her stomach, an emptiness that both. I went to the closet and put on the only pair of heels Ireally fit into. They were three inch heels with an elastic clothmaterial over the foot. The final piece was the black polyester wrapdress with the red and pink roses on it. I stood in front of the mirrorsand admired how I looked. I looked like a teenage boy wearing women'sclothes. It was so depressing that I almost took it all off and fled.For some reason the stairs seemed like they went on forever as Idescended the stair case. I.