I sigh at how the Fates have conspired against me. Again I think back to that day. I stood on the pier. I looked at her again. Did I mention her mango...sized breasts? I did? Well, I didn’t mention they were covered by a distinctly non-Polynesian white halter-top. She wore a black necklace that appeared to have been made from some local seed or nut. I look at her picture again. I imagine myself pulling down her halter-top, exposing her twin mounds to my hungry eyes. In the old days she would have. So what the fuck, I was dong 3-5 years, ain't no chicks around so I got me a sissy boi, put him on his knees, made the bitch suck it and eat my cum. A lot of the sissy boyz were hot for cock and knew how to suck and please. Sex in prison is mostly hard. You slap a guy around If he don't do what he is told. Sometimes I would get a hard on at night listening to guys be forced to fuck. There is a lot of pleasure in being in charge. I like ass fucking, did my girlfriends that way,. I studied it in psychology in college too. We had to quit using it when the upper courts ruled that we were planting memories not recovering lost memories. We were leading the witness, ha, ha. Anyway I think that the memory of that rape, and that’s all I can call it, prevents you from enjoying sex Paula.” Max offered his opinion.“Do you think you can make me forget it Max,” Paula asked.“I’m not sure that I can make you forget it, that usually leads to more problems than it cleans up Paula. The. However, it does not even come close to making love to Lily.Thursday 18th September: I have received an email from Lily; she is coming over and is staying, in a friend’s flat in Cambridge. She apologized for the short notice, but hoped I could join her. I am not sure if I can afford the cost of the train ticket and I hate to beg money from my parents.They know of course, Lily is such a big part of my life now; I could not hold it back from them. I am not sure how they feel about it, but they do.