A blond man is in jail ... Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the b...ond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A. For a few moments I was afraid I would have to carry out my threat."Release her," he said to his bodyguard. Then to me, "You're fired!" No shit!"The goon untied her hands and feet. I waited until she walked out of the office free before I walked out the door. When I passed the bodyguard I looked at him in the eyes and said, "Try it. I WILL claim self defense."I went to my office and cleaned out my desk and rode the elevator down to the first floor. I walked out the door and then over to the. "We have an hour before dinner. What would you like to do?" Calvin asked his soon-to-be bride.Celeste got up, waked over to him, put her hands on the back of his head, and pulled him into a deep kiss. Kiss was ok, she thought, as long as it stays just kissing. A few moments passed in silence as they made up for lost time apart. Finale they broke for air."I can handle doing this for an hour, how about you?" Calvin asked.For an answer, Celeste pulled him back into another long kiss. It has been. On my other side I could see two of my closest friends were kissing each other. their hands exploring each others body, gripping hold of each others breasts and sliding between their legs. This was turning out to be quite a night, and I was worried I wouldn’t enjoy it? Yeah right!The tall guy from behind the bar jumped up and sat in front of me. His legs hanging over the edge of the bar and his hands resting beside him. I was inches away from his manhood, and I could see that he was solid in.