But honestly, I was so completely traumatized by my loss that I never allowed myself to love anyone except my aunt. Not for a long time. ‘When I tur...ed 20, I decided to get into the BDSM scene. I think I was partly hoping I’d catch wind of Leo. But I was also desperately lonely, but far too vulnerable to try a normal relationship. Because of my parents, BDSM was familiar. But after Cathy, there was no way I would ever have been a sub. I became a dom. ‘I was never into pain or anything like. Though she fell asleep quickly it couldn't quit thinking about the words and conversations from the evening... When I woke there was breakfast on the table and a note.. "I'm in the barn or gone for a ride on my new horse.. join me when you eyes are open good". I ate the microwave heated breakfast, then walked to the barn.. no Kelli so I returned to the house and took a nice hot shower.. went to the barn again.. still no Kelli.. back to the house.. I sat and watched the season opener of college. We both laughed and joked and decided to make the best of things.Things were a bit awkward getting changed and showering but s*s broke the ice by anouncing that she was getting into her bikini and openly lifting her top over her head right beside me. I tried not to stare but as her full bra came into view I was amazed by the size of her tits, I had never looked on her as been sexy but the sight before my eyes was very very sexy. She caught me staring and laughingly told me to close my mouth. What was wrong with me? When I arrived athome I felt chilled and decided a nice hot bath and hot buttered rumwould cheer me up. As I was preparing the drink I noticed a note on thefridge from Coleen "Bill, You must remember to take your medication. Ihave put out six weeks supply by your sink. I have asked Susan toregularly remind you as the doctor said it was extremely important thatyou don't miss a dosage. Love, as always, your Coleen." Damnmedication, I have been on it for four months.