And though we'd just started getting close, and had become intimate, we hadn't gotten to the point where either one of us was ready or prepared to dis...uss any long-term commitments together. Still...leaving all that behind had been difficult enough, and one more stress factor that I now carried on my shoulders.Another of course was mom now looking at me, and even referring to me as "The man of the house now," which carried with it far more responsibility than I was at the moment prepared to. S.a., &/or likewise within a predominantly black vicinity area neighborhood community, talking about how he himself would beat the living daylights out of me if I myself don't turn off my cellphone, & put it into my pocket, spitting salt, or venom more, much more than a little bit, but then thank God, my Lord, & Savior, the Messiah-Deliverer that he himself didn't, or hadn't acted upon that being of his words with some, or such actions otherwise to compliment that being of a verbal threat to be. Has to do with something brown... and soft... can you guess?"I felt myself blushing."Hmm, yes, I could. And how?" You will see!"For the next minute, she remained silent and seemed to be glancing out of the window, but at my crotch, I could feel her body tensing and shifting. Then I felt a difference in what was at my lap, her face color changed a bit towards red - impossible, I tought at first: is she really going to shit right here and now, in a crowded bus, into her jeans?Well - she was. It. I stuck the survey in the selfaddressed stamped envelope, sealed it and walked it out to my mailboxwith the flag up. After all, it did not say "Ms" on the return envelope.Weeks passed. My excitement about my pantyhose began to wane. I thoughtabout the survey I had filled out. It had asked me about wearing shortsand dresses and skirts. It had asked about heels and boots. I wanted toshow them off. At least to myself. I owned cargo shorts and runningshoes. They didn't look right. I stopped wearing.