”“But you read so much. Why not teach English?”“I don’t read that much. They distinguish between literature and fiction. Besides, I was alwa...s better in math. You know, studies suggest that something like 40% of college graduates don’t crack book one after graduation. Apparently, that includes novels.”“Well,” she admitted, “I haven’t read anything since I graduated ... unless you included ‘Green Eggs and Ham.’”“‘Hop on Pop’ is definitely the better book. Well, you’re a recent graduate. This. He was 42. He gave me money to just sit with him. Then he started doing things like this with me. I started dating him. And then I got pregnant.” She was staring out the window and we both watched as her daughter’s little slit was pounded by another watery eruption. She shuddered and I felt warm nectar wash over my fingers. She looked down and me and smiled.“She really is a dumb piece of shit. I figured it out too late that I was not stupid. I had just had too many people tell me I should fuck. Even mid-slap, you'd marveled at the way her firm, high-school-freshman tits wobbled briefly in her swimsuit as she struck your cheek. That was almost four years ago, and you still catch yourself throwing sideways glances at your best friend and remembering that juggle. It makes you feel dirty and all of the right ways... but also all of the wrong ones.You feel the sting of The Slap Heard 'Round the Pool in her tone now, and it just serves as a reminder to not be a creepy douche around Melanie.. Think of it as opening up a whole new demographic to your Q-Rating—the cougar set.”I could just see him struggling mightily to hold in the laughter. Hmmm.“Okay, but I’m not going to put myself out for it. If they want to do it that bad, she can interview me at the house.”“I’ll let her know. We’ll see what happens,” he replied.When I finally got home, I found Coach Bail, the head coach of Ohio State’s baseball team, sitting in the living room, talking to my parents, Uncle John and Grandma.