"Uhm, hi Mom," he said softly."Oh, sweetie, there's no need to hide those dirty magazines. I know that you beat off." Her eyes settled on his limp pen...s. "Or at least that you try to." Mom!" he said in a shrill voice."It's okay, honey. There's nothing you can do about it. What does it feel like? The change?"David crossed his arms, a posture that felt funny now, then pounded his fists on the mattress and cast his eyes down. "I don't want to talk about it."Lydia watched him a moment, then shook. But she is a trooper and takes yet another - albeit small - step."All right, that's it, get the time, get the time!", she rushes out between groans. I do indeed glance at my watch to mark the time, and I also measure the distance that she has moved back. Of course I don't actually use my finger directly for that. I simply measure my finger (the thumb of course, no point in making this easy on her), then measure the distance with a ruler, and then use my advanced maths skills to determine that. There was the noise of struggling behind me, and sure enough Charlotte was struggling to get her big pantsoff. "Can I help?" I offered gallantly"Do you want me to keep my stockings on?" That would be nice " I replied "I need to get THESE off" she explained "I have an .. unruly b*m, these keep the flab under control, but they're hard to get on and off" I got her to put her beautifully curvaceous legs in the air, I grabbed the waistband and pulled like hell. There was still this great. The wife gives him a withering look and says: “What about silver? It’d be nice if you tried coming second for a change.”A sausage factory owner was showing his arrogant son around and try as he might he found it impossible to impress him. As they approached the heart of the factory, the man thought: “If this doesn’t do it nothing will!” He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this machine is the very the heart of the factory. We put in a pig and outcomes sausages.” Still unimpressed his son.