No one could actually blame them. In fact if they really wanted to be assholes they could have refused to pay for even that.Now it fell to me to take ...are of anything, which meant going back to work.Trouble was while I might have plenty of offers that would pay for a lot of bills, only one would pay for all of them. That movie was an S&M movie, you know whips and chains and stuff.Like I said before I wasn't really into the whole pain thing, but I didn't have a lot of choices right then. Paying. .. Oh, but you make my legs weak!Already, with your footsteps traveling the hallway, I can feel the tremble shaking my knees, the padded softness of my upper legs awaiting your hastily bared skin...I can see you in my mind, staring into my eyes, which are fiery green today. You can always tell my mood by the colour my eyes show. When I am sad, they are grey, and happy, they are blue. When I am relaxed, they are brown, and right now, they are fertile, fiery green. I envy the atoms of the hallway. So you can act out all you want and say anything you want up until then. The microphone you saw will pick that up whatever you say and we will hear it over the speakers. If you say blueberry, we stop and give you time to either calm down or ask we process you normally.”“Darling man with the big dick, after paying all my daddy’s money for this party, you can be sure I won’t be doing some secret processing. He would kill me.”Conversation continued in this vein for the next hour with the gallows. Mama asked me, “What in the world are you thinking about?” I had been daydreaming about Randy and myself in school and I snapped out of it when she spoke. I asked her why she asked me that and she said, “You were smiling great big and staring into space.” That’s when I first realized something was going on in my heart with this class clown. On the first day of Christmas vacation, December 21st, 1992, I was still in my pajamas when my mom came home for lunch at 12:30. I had fixed her lunch and.