——————— I looked down at the envelope, processing the words. Flipping it over, I opened it, pulling out the letter. Unfolding the sheet ... started to read aloud. Sarah, I have started writing many letters to you, each one awful in its own sense. Words to try and make you forgive me, this time I am going to try the honest approach. Please read this, I hope that when you have read it you might understand my perspective. I am going to be honest about why I came to see you and I’m going to be honest. My ex later confessed that what turned her on the most was knowing I was watching. She made me promise that we would never speak about it again."Mom's mouth opened wide in disbelief. She was breathing very heavily; the story seemed to have her beside herself. She put one hand to her heart, her other hand slipped below the water towards the top of her thighs.She said, "Not to pry into the details too much, but did you watch her, uh, well, you know..." Suck his cock?" I interrupted. Her eyes got. I got a little pissed at myself. Last year I got depressed. This year I felt myself falling into a slight depression. Other people have lives too and it isn't their job to make my birthday special. I know that if I asked them they would do what I wanted but I don't need a party or a cake to make me happy. I went in, did my schoolwork and studied.April stopped by and asked if I wanted to have dinner with her so we went over and had some oysters. She said she had a lot of homework but wanted to. .." I didn't catch the rest as I fell into Oblivion. Snatches, brief visions of my life flashed like light bulbs in my eyes. Tracy smiling at me, holding tiny little Heather, Heather getting on the bus for her first day at school, my first time buying a car. Memories played through my decent until, at last, I settled into the soft recess of black. I couldn't move or see when I woke up. My ears felt like I had cotton in them; sounds were muffled as if under water. ".... Pressure?" not that I.