.. because it gave me asexual thrill. I was nowhere near her level."I... of course I have," I stuttered, "I... I don't know what I'm doinghalf the tim.... Sometimes I don't even know who I am in the morning."She stared. Did she want me to say more? Was this even helping thesituation?"But Sandy," I continued more confidently, "there is no way that mandoesn't love you. And you obviously love him. What part of any of thatsounds like you'd be messing up his life by making him happy?"She nodded a bit.. I, on the other hand, waited a good ten minutes before I went back into the kitchen. I was carrying two more bottles of wine.“I wondered where you went off to,” my mom said. “Pull the cork on one of those and pour us another glass, please.”I refilled their glasses and sat back down to watch the ladies play cards. I had a hard time believing some of the gossip they talked about. Mrs T accused her next door neighbor of having men visit her house while her husband was at work. Then Mrs C topped. I was trying to be quiet but I all of the sudden I coughed and I saw my dads hand shoot back the steering wheel and my sister sat up straight and looked back at me as I slammed my eyes closed, I heard her say "I think he's still asleep but we shouldn't do anymore in case he wakes up" My dad agreed and nothing else happened the rest of the drive. When we got home we started watching a movie until my dad told me it was almost 9 and my bedtime so I should go upstairs and get some rest. I said OK. #The rest of the club were either too caught up in the music or trippingover their own feet to get to her and she cut a swathe straight to me.The world moved in slow motion, blurring to a stop with her smile.Everything seemed unreal, like a drawing. I could swear I saw thelines.The words froze in my throat with that smile and the low murmur oflaughter spread through the club, echoing through every corner of theworld. I felt every pair of eyes on me, every pair in the world but herand I prayed.