I was, and still am, a premature ejaculator. A few strokes and that was it. Regardless how often I masturbated in a row I would never last. If I was r...ally excited I would even ejaculate without touching myself. It was very embarrassing and I was very self-conscious about it. Of course, I had to hide the magazines carefully since I had a roommate and it would have been difficult to explain my preferences.I knew exactly when the new edition would come out. My favorite book store was right around. Lekin main aaj ruk nahi rahi thi. Fir hum dono sath mein hi jhad gaye.Woh mere side mein hi let gayi aur mujhe kiss karke mujhe dekhne lagi. Fir jo palko per mere ball aa gaye the unko piche karke mujhe nihaarne lagi. Main samajh nahi paa rahi thi ke unke dimagh mein kya chal raha hai.Fir Rajkumari uthi aur fir hum dono sath mein nahaye aur bahar aa gaye. Rajkumari ke hone wale pati jung per gaye hue the. Unke jeetkar aane per unki shadi hone wali thi. Lekin ye jung kafi lambi ho gayi thi.Woh. I finished dressing Hope and off we went. From that moment on, I looked at Hope as a potential sex partner, I just didn’t know how to pull it off.Some weeks after that I noticed that when we talked about when we grew up (in very similar circumstances), Hope would hesitate when she would say ‘black man’ or ‘black woman’. It seemed awkward so I told Hope that when we were alone together - a safe zone, she could use any kind of word or phrase she wanted to. I then asked her directly to say what. I love you so fucking much.For so long, I’d loved him. Too afraid to face it, too afraid to give in and trust someone with my heart. But there was no more denying it.I loved Dr. Westley Spenrath.I just couldn’t say it. I wanted to. God, how I wanted to. I wanted him to know that he was loved, that he was wanted, that he was my entire fucking world, but I couldn’t.Because this was goodbye.“Make love to me,” I said breathlessly.He picked me up, I wrapped my arms around his waist, and somehow we.