. Even after my hair turned white, even after I fled to Shanghai, I still hated you. Spring, summer, autumn, winter... Rain or shine, day or night. It...was as if my brain fed on my hatred for you. I was able to constantly maintain a state of consciousness, as if I'd forgotten what sleep was! An ordinary person's mind and body would be calmed by sleep, but when I slept it only quieted my body; my mind remained conscious... My ever-conscious mind reached through my spinal cord to every nerve in my. Ilook back. she was Ekta my school classmate.let me describe her. sheis fair, she has attractive eyes. serousness inher lips & she isbeautifull..she has small boobs. I said "ohh!!hi...how are you"..she replied withsmile "fine"... then we started our chit-chat,while walking on road.I was so busy in talking with her, that I wasgoing with her way toher house. she reminded me that. I feelembarrased. she said"ok cometo my house now"..I said "I wont mind" andwe moved. she had crush onme in school. When I eventually spit out the words to tell her I occasionally crossdressed she said, “I’d love to see that.” From that point on there was only one thing to do: Don’t fuck it up. As the discussion continued Jennie became genuinely curious and asked questions. At one point she asked, “Are you gay?” I told her that I was not and that I was actually aroused about letting her see me like that. I wormed my way around to telling her I wanted to get a photo of myself with real women. She knew what I. And the truth was, I did so want her and I knew I was competing with others for her attention all the time. Susie had a list of girls and didn't care letting you know just who she'd been with the night before. I thought 'this is a test. If I choose the wrong outfit I’ll fail.’ I scanned my wardrobe, pulling outfit after outfit out onto the bed or onto the floor as I searched for the perfect outfit to make an entrance. Finally at 7.45pm I was ready. One last check in the mirror as I ran my.