I knew what I was doing was a sin but I just couldn't help myself as I put my ear to the thatched wall and listened."Forgive me Father for I have sinn...d." Tell me my child, what is your sin?" I have had impure thoughts Father, thought that a nun shouldn't have." Yes my child?" I have been thinking about... about..." Yes?" Masturbation Father, I've been thinking about masturbating."A first I was shocked at what Sister Marie was telling the priest, God knows I didn't even know that girls could. “Babe, if you reacted that way, I’m pretty sure that something is bothering you. If we don’t talk about it, it’s only going to get worse.”She sighed, “These have been the weirdest, most stressful two years of my life.”I decided to try a bit of levity.“A trio marriage; Residency; sleep deprivation; your husband having two kids with a third on the way? What’s to be stressed about?”She laughed, which was a good sign.“I guess the stress is legitimate, but it makes me think in crazy ways and feel. ." What did you say?" I asked him as he burst out crying again. He wiped his eyes and shook his head. "I didn't get a chance to say anything," he said. "She died before I could open my mouth. My wife died thinking I didn't love her. This is all, our fault Karla. You and I killed her. We fucked to celebrate her getting better and it ruined two marriages and four people's lives. Her family barely let me come to the funeral. They look at me like I did this. The woman I loved for most of my life,. ’ I handed her a sweating glass of juice and she sipped at it, then gulped. ‘Perfect, Jacky. It’s all been perfect.’ She twisted around, light as a feather in the buoyancy of the hot water, and settled into my arms with her back to me. ‘There are so many things I feel like I should tell you though, but I don’t know where to start. And I don’t want to destroy the magic. But I’m afraid time is running out, love. You’re going to hear some bad things about me…I hope you won’t believe them. Don’t.