Or ... if I had, I had somehow blocked it out of my mind, refusing to accept, to believe it. Knowing why perhaps. For years now, ever since Janet had ...rown into the woman she'd become, especially after the death of our parents. She had grown up quickly, taking on some of the responsibilities herself, maturing rapidly, perhaps even more so than I had, and certainly more so than I felt Jack had. In a weird way, in a really weird way, she'd become mom. But she'd also become a woman, and it had. I remember the period of my schooling, I always tried to steal her glimpse, either from my terrace or while passing through her house, and she always smiled as I looked at her, couple of times I waved my hand to say hello, and she always responded. Sometimes I use to get bonus, when she use to come at my place to give something,something which is cooked out of routine in her house by her mother, or whenI use to go there for the same purpose or for some other casual reason. Truly speaking at. But this was different. I was on my own; I was leaving everyone else to take care of my jobs. I was leaving Kelly to take care of our kids without my help. I was leaving my family to mourn the death of their grandfather/great grandfather/living companion/father-in-law to go deal with my own demons. I felt ... somewhat inadequate.Rachel was right; I was off in search of the life we had with each other. But I was 34 then; about Kelly’s age. She was polite about it, but the reality of her. . stuff going on with my hips and ..." He didn't need to goon for me to get the gist of well else in that area was changing.For my part, I had no idea what to do or say. I'd tried to preparemyself for this possibility, but it hadn't worked. What could Ipossibly say to comfort Noah in a situation like this? It seemed sofutile, but I had to do something. "So we won't hide it," I finally announced, knowing that it was theonly way to handle this situation. I also knew that it wasn't going tobe.