” Who the hell said that!? It wasn’t me, it couldn’t be! I wanted to die. Martha looked at me, I think – my eyes were checking out the leaves ...f grass between my feet. I could feel her dark eyes on me. “Would you like a cool drink?” she asked as she tied her top. I was saved! “Sure.” Maybe she didn’t hear me. Maybe she won’t tell my mother I’m a pervert. I could barely stand the conflict of guilt and extreme sexual tension. We got up and Martha led the way to her back stairs. I followed her,. . This week I went to get jabbed so my Doc would have the info for our next visit so its off to the draw place before breakfast and wait for an hour. An Asian woman was at the desk and kept my concentration while I discretely admired her cleavage while waiting for her to collect info, then I sat and waited pretending to read a paper glancing at another woman in her shorts flashing pubic hair. My name was called and I entered and a little voice directed me to sit in a chair and wait so I. Are you still mad?" He ran his fingers like a comb through her silky brown hair.She looked away and smiled ruefully. "Sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm not. Now, I'm not."He stood silently, caressing her hair, and let her continue. "I think what you did was wrong, and at first I was furious at you. But now, after these last few days, I think I understand. And sometimes... sometimes I don't feel that it's so wrong."Blake put his strong hands on her shoulders, and massaged her tenderly. Meg could. Since she returned, I look at her through different eyes — eyes that are more critical, more ‘objective’. It’s as if I were watching a stranger. Overnight, the luster wore off our relationship. So there is my ‘irony’: I’ve forgiven Laurie for her dalliance, but nevertheless I’m on the verge of divorcing her. I got past her one-night stand just fine, but now I’ve realized that I have feelings that are festering and that I cannot repress for the long-term. No amount of sexual satisfaction can.