“It’s completely my fault, I didn’t knock.” He let’s go of my wrists. “I wish there was a way I could make it up to you.” He leans back ...nd ponders some ideas. I sit up on the couch. “Well you can’t.” My stomach rumbles and I get up and walk over to go get some food. “But since you're here anyways, would you like some food? I ordered extra because I was going to save some for tomorrow, but you’re probably just going to break in in the middle of the night and eat some, so you might as well have. I said, with a little false guilt in my voice, “Oh after a good meal, and especially after some wine, I really love to have a cigarette. Would you mind if I stepped out on the balcony and smoked one?” He said, with more eagerness than I imagined he would, “No, not at all, I’ll come out with you.” By that time it was dark, so I flipped on the patio light, and we sat in the patio chairs next to each other, with a small table between us, which held my ashtray and VS10s and lighter. I smiled as I. I hardly ever saw Denise and Kimbery any more. They were off in their own world during the day. Either they were in their room with their girlfriends talking about boys or fashion clothing or they were trying to be bossy with Aimee and me, trying to get us to do their chores.Aimee and I watched a lot of TV together in our room. Mr. Owens had told mom to keep the TV, that it was an old backup they had. I couldn't imagine a family having two TVs, but we did. Only rich people had two TVs. I just. Meaning college men I interjected. Yes. She said ruefully. That was a joke. Not too many men wanted a fat girl. The ones that did were crude and stupid. What did your old man say about that? I asked. I never told him. She said. I couldnt break his heart. He died in a car accident my sophomore year. I couldnt even go to the funeral. Do I look like him? I asked. Not looking to be a replacement for what she had lost. Not at all you are taller, stronger, and with much darker hair. I like the beard.