" I replied."It's OK. If you lube enough, you won't need condoms." He said."OK" I said.Then he showed me another position and told me that he wants to...try it out. It was missionary pose.We put a pillow again, just like the last time, I lubed my cock really good and I slowly started pushing my cock in his ass. Now, without a condom, his ass felt so hot, like he was on fire. His ass was so slippery and damp and it felt really great. When I was just about to cum I heard our room's door bashing. This force inside me makes me want what I can’t have. Sometimes I can control it but other times I can’t. When you and Sally told me that I couldn’t see Joe unless you and Sally were there I felt like you were trying to take my control away from me. You know how I am about that. No one controls me.”“Yes, I know and although it is hard for me I think I understand it better now. Ronnie. Why won’t you go to the councillor with me? I think she can help you. She has been a great help to me in. Hah.***I don't cut myself that night, although I really want to. Unless I'm completely out of it, like I was the yesterday, I only cut for control. I've come to the conclusion that if I cut every time I want to I'll be scarred from tip to toe within a fortnight. I rake some keys up my arm instead, until the skin is scraped away and the blood starts to clot underneath, and then turn out the light. I get no sleep.***Nothing much happens on a Sunday. I sit around, I read, I try to think sane. And if you guessed wrong you turned the customer off. It was better to lead him to the edge but let himself go over the edge if he wanted. There were some who thrived on being led to edge In the business the meaning of succes was money and when the other girls saw how much money she was bringing in they asked her choreograph pieces for them. At first she declined saying it was a personal feeling in which she worked. She eventually helped the other girls to choreograph their pieces suggesting.