I guess the problem is that nobody's sure which alternative is the real deal.No, that's not right. The problem is that everybody's sure which alternat...ve is the real deal, they just can't agree.It's like the old joke:St. Peter is standing at the gates of heaven sorting the recently deceased."John Smith, Baptist, you're in. Please go to room 321, but be very quiet going by 317."Jenny Taylor, Jew, you're in. Please go to room 324, but be very quiet going by 317."Carl Reed, agnostic, you're in.. "I was concentrating on willing away my growing hardness, so I didn't answer right away."The doctors say it's nerve damage from when I fell on my tailbone, but it starts right below where the taser hit me," she said.I kept concentrating, and I kept rubbing, but I managed to find words as well."My left arm feels funny sometimes, and I can't tell if I'm imagining it or if I'm having a heart attack," I said softly.She half turned in my arms to look at my shoulder. She had to have felt my hardness. So Jerome and I sat and got pissed, so much that we didn’t notice that by about 10.45 the snug had become unusually busy. I noticed in my drunken haze that there was now about five couples in the snug and a couple of youngish men. Things were looking up. As the rest of the pub emptied, only the snug - with me and Jerome in it - remained full. People were smiling and flirting and then the hat came round.Oh well in for a penny, Jerome and I wrote out names out and put them in the hat. After a bit. I hadn't gone two weeks without seeing her in years.I plopped down in my recliner, took off my shoes, and set them by the chair. Marilyn sat on the couch opposite me. There was a tiny smile on her face. I hadn't seen her smile since he died. God, I'd missed that smile. Carol brought me my drink, kissed me deeply, and sat down by Marilyn. I reached for the Rolaids again."I know what's eating you, Jim, and we've got to talk about it. I'm afraid it'll kill you," Carol said. "I love you. I love you.