And she hated herself for that. She had scared him once already, let him see the one mark she had made, the first mark she had made in months. A mark ...he made because those feelings she tries to hide so deep came clawing back to the surface. Feelings she thought she had locked away for good. But feelings of being nothing, of being worthless, of feeling like trash are hard to lock away when it turns out they have a spark of truth in them. The mark that was mad, the mark he hates, was made. ’ Philip whispered again to Ai, ‘She has him on the defensive.’ ‘Then what is it? Am I pretty enough?’ ‘Yes, you’re very pretty.’ ‘Shouldn’t a girl have the opportunity, at least once in her life?’ ‘Yeah, but…’ ‘It just sort of happened, Tim. It was my first time too. It’s not like we planned it.’ ‘So what did your boyfriend say?’ Tim asked Mei. ‘He hit me then he fucked me silly.’ ‘But this was just last night.’ ‘Yeah, I just came from his place.’ She turned to Karla. ‘Is my cheek still red?. . After that she seemed amused, like the idea of dating a blind man was merely a novel concept. Things like that are disheartening, and you might be surprised by how often they occur. People just don’t think sometimes. So I had simply gotten used to being by myself. And that quiet Friday evening was no different. I went back to reading, trying to put the girl sitting at my table out of mind. Eventually it worked, and I found myself chuckling at the sharp wit of Dorothy Parker. ‘What’s so.
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