The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This ...ompliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too. Quite a number of people got out in time, but not everyone, even those that wanted to.Time: 9:45 PM Eastern time that nightLocation: A sandbagged command trailer five miles from ground zero at the Homeland Security Headquarters's buildings."Mr. President," the National Security Adviser (NSA) said over the video phone, "it looks like the bombardment is finally over. We were hit by two pieces of debris. One end of the trailer is totally crushed and there are at least four dead. One of them was. She had a smile from ear to ear. I couldn’t believe it, I walked over to her and she hugged me so tight and wouldn’t let go of me. I asked, “Mom, what are you doing here? Where are dad and my sister?She told me that she wanted to come and see me graduate and dad had to work so she came by herself. She didn’t want to miss out on seeing me and was so proud of me. I couldn’t believe she was here, what a surprise and I knew I didn’t need to go to the barracks. I introduced her to my Drill. I was having Maggie's (that's my 280Z) oil changed at Chuck's Garage and we were shooting the breeze over coffee. Chuck's another retired cop so we sometimes discuss some case I'm working on. When I mentioned the Andrews case Chuck said "I know him." He rummaged in a desk drawer and pulled out a photo of a man in his mid 60's, greying hair, solidly built with a big grin on his face standing next to what appeared to be a 30's model Ford coupe tricked out as a hot rod."I met Jerry Andrews at a.