”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmac‎So I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you w...at I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten drills.Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour. My dad’s birthday. It was his 50th, so we had to celebrate big. We invited many, many people. Things were going great until my mom started to drink a little. It wasn’t beer, but wine, and she had quite a few drinks, so she was pretty drunk. Usually at our parties we dance in the basement with loud music playing. This was the case that day and everyone was dancing. My mom was drunk so her dancing was basically bashing her butt on other people’s butts or legs. She was mainly dancing with my uncle. I remained sad most of the time. Unluckily most of the teacher in my school were also male. It was not a typical Catholic school somewhat people thought it to be. Though there were female faculties they were over 45 and did not attract most of my attention.As I was a bit far away from attractive females’ company. I went home regularly during my holidays. I had a secret stash of erotica hidden in my aunt’s home.As I don’t have my parents. They died in a car accident when I was very young. I used. Her smile lights up the room and shes smart, kind and has the most amazing legs Ive ever seen he says making a point to look at my legs and smile, realising hes describing me I smile I know hes only playing with me, after all ben sees me as a sister more than a girlfriend Maybe so Ben but Lucy really likes you and shes tall and beautiful You know thats n&hellip,. Ben is cut off by the sound of the front door slamming open We hear the sound of my uncle stomping through the house and into the.