While he reflected he came to a realization. He didn’t understand if it was just the intimate closeness with Maria, Andy, and Jason, or if it was th... transfusion he had gotten from Jason earlier, but something was changing him. He was no longer John Grayson hiding behind the Robert Gray Hawk identity, but he was becoming Hawk. What surprised him even more was the fact it didn’t disturb him at all.Shortly after he arrived at the hospital Doctor Adams came by to examine Maria. He thought she was. She claimed she was 100 percent better than jess. And I can tell you it was getting hard in so many ways for me to keep from throwing her down and just ravaging her even in front of jess. Well it finally came to a head one Friday night. We were sitting around drinking and talking. And we went through like 4 5ths of moonshine. Now jess can hold her own most of the time when we drink but for some reason she was being a lite wait tonight. I think hellen d**gged her so she could have her way with. "I get it you were just caught up in the moment. I was too it was alright." Well you see that's not really it. I meant it, I am pretty sure I do love you. It's just I'm not going to leave Tim back home for you and I'm not going to cheat on him and have sex with you. What we did today almost pushed the boundaries for me. I'm sorry if you find this hurtful I just don't want you to have any misconceptions." she said.Of course what she just said didn't make me feel very good but I wouldn't call it. ”“It’s probably better if I don’t think about that for now,” he replied with a laugh. “I’m going to have a hard enough time not making a fool of myself as it is. I think that was why I was able to talk to Kiera and Vivi yesterday. They both made it clear I wouldn’t be getting anywhere with them so I wasn’t thinking about sex when I was talking with them.”“Yes, it worked out well for your brother and is a good rule to follow in general,” Sonia said with a slight grin. “Master could have ordered.