They’d not have so much as breathed funny in her direction lest they catch your undue attention.’ Leif tried to reason with him, hoping to lessen ...he events of tonight. ‘Maybe you’re right, but that doesn’t excuse ignoring the principals of community.’ Sir Glen sighed. ‘It is nearly time for me to pass the conclave on to another you know this. Loosing control of the Order is unacceptable. What will be next? The novices?’ ‘You must have thought this when I was in the Order Sir Glen. I know I. Her soul would be shattered by this experience; I would have destroyed her and probably also our love.There was no way she could look at me again with the same relatively innocent eyes. There was no way she could look at me ever again with adoring love and affection.I'd lost everything and for nothing ... nothing at all. All because I couldn't say 'No' tonight, either to Amy or my mother. Nor could I find a proper object to perform this entirely necessary matricide either.Things just couldn't. My girlfriend and I had left home right after finals. We had driven all the way to Florida without stopping. When we entered northern Florida at sunrise, we had expected to see the roads lined with palm trees and other exotic vegetation.What we saw instead were rows and row of pine trees."If I wanted to see pine trees, I would have stayed home," I stated."I sure hope the scenery changes," I remember my companion replying. I could see the disappointment on her face.We continued driving and. "She pauses again and looks at me even more deeply than before, "I'msorry, I shouldn't be complaining. I don't know, I just don'tknow...."I look at her, thinking of all my past life, my family that I'll neversee again, my mother, my wife, my children. How can anyone deal withknowing that all that is gone? And now, the only mother I reallystill have isn't even sure I'm her daughter. What do I do? How do Icope with this, too?"Mom?" I try again.She looks up with some tears in her eyes and I.