It’s been fueled over the last forty hours by the knowledge that we will never speak again. That all of our dreams are now doomed to remain unfulfil...ed. I’ve cried knowing that I will never kiss you or touch your skin. I can never hold you in my arms or play with your hair. You can’t take me dancing or teach me guitar. I’ll never be able to kiss you at the top of the Ferris wheel. Our children will never meet, or families will be strangers. There will never be a chance to watch your hair grow. "Can't wait!" she giggles. Picking the final plate up I balance them and look towards Jim. "Just down through on the left, just mind the step down" he nods. I follow the immaculately decorated hallway before finding the open door and heeding his advice make sure I take the step down carefully. The last thing I'd want is the ribbing about breaking the crockery. I am sure I'd never hear the end of it. But then in the grand scheme of things a little broken crockery would be nothing in comparison. Some of the other wishes were that he be given 'hoof hands', that he havea cow's tail grafted onto the base of his spine, that his walks should beon all fours, and that he be given a nose ring. He told himself that noone would act on what was written there, but then his keeper, Bart,showed up with a nose ring, clipped it between his nostrils so that twopoints bit painfully into his septum, and led him around by it for theirafternoon walk. Afterwards the end of the lead was tied to the bar. But I made no attempt to masturbate; I could raise neither enthusiasm nor prick. I just wanted Kelly to be here next to me. I did not want her to be in Majorca. But she would be there for three more days. I awoke the following morning only to realise with a sinking heart that the love of my life was not home.I went off to the meeting that had been the cause of my early departure from Majorca. I didn't say much at the start; my mind was a thousand miles away. In spirit I was once more at the.