It was a Friday night and I had been at Heather’s house after school and then we went out and met some other friends in town until the night was a f...w minutes past what I was supposed to even be out. My parents weren’t awful or strict parents, but they always had ways of making us want to obey the rules. Sometimes Mom and Dad would fall asleep and talk about things the next day and I was sure hoping that was the case because Heather and I had shared a few sips of wine from her parents. How do you stand it?”“Ellen has very strong desires, doesn’t she? Your next lesson will be how to filter out what you don’t want to receive. Come with me to the kitchen. We’ll get the lesson started.”Boris looked down at the front of his slacks. “I can’t go in there like this.”“Ellen is sitting among the other women. They know exactly what you’re going through. Why don’t you sit in my empty chair. You can follow me in. That will give you some cover. But hurry up. We need to deal with this. I cry out in absolute terror and stagger. Fortunately my flashback now is as brief as ever. It almost gives me a glimpse of an infinite horror but then my mind pushes the nightmare away. But I don't want to stand here anymore. I feel too exposed. I am vulnerable, and I absolutely don't have the guts to stay here. After gingerly testing the weight of my two suitcases again, I resume my march. I take another three steps, and then my wrists leave me crying in agony. My mental defenses fail in the. They will want what they want because I don’t know what finally balancing my scales will do for me and that is something I can’t begin to imagine.Hawk: Wednesday Evening before Incident And Smitty is messaging me again, probably telling me I need to keep a few of his boys with me just in case. It’s a freaking cop more interested in what the prostitutes are wearing than the biker without his leathers following him. Another bar, another stop, another pair of beers and he’s back on his rounds.