I nodded, finishing my second one. "I'm ashamed to admit it, I'm a sucker for them. And you topped them off with walnuts. Yum."Dean refreshed our drin...s. I think it was some kind of a Tom Collins only with something I couldn't put my finger on, which made it different, but very good. He'd bought up macaroni salad from the deli and we sat down for a light dinner when the meats were done.I was starting to feel lightheaded, but was having a blast. Elliot had started to tell sex jokes, he was such. . . .LOST LOVE'S LAMENTATIONShe wore roses where the nipplesOf her breasts should be, and flowersFloated in her hair, and there were chocolatesStored down there, among the petalsOf her soft, pink femininity, waiting to blossom,Just for me, back then, when I was youngAnd had not seen the blooms that menOffer upon upright stems, and I wanted herTo love me, to flower, just for me, once,Upon a time, way back. . . then. . . . HEDONISTIC GIRLWe seek ourselves in metaphors,Never knowing who or what. You’ll be fat and flabby. Your face will be worn. Your soul will be old and tired, and you will then have to start over.“Or you can put that body to work now. Find another sap to buy that pussy of yours. I don’t care. Just get your hooks out of my husband, return the money, and you can walk away.”Vanessa swallowed. “That’s it?”“Unless the idea of going to prison and eating the pussy of some bull-dyke bitch sounds appealing.” Mom leaned forward. “Or maybe you like licking cunt.”Disgust swept. I still keep an apartment there. I liked how the city felt around me. It was old and dirty and worn down in parts but it felt lived in, a place where people had homes. In contrast, Phoenix felt like a large mall, Prefabricated and modular. Stucco walls and gravel front yards instead of grass. It was dry and dusty where St. Louis was moist and green. Twenty minutes outside of the city and you were practically in the woods. The air here smelled cleaner and crisper. You spend so much time in.