'Bullshit'! A very adult swear word for a girl to say to an adult. 'Close your eyes and keep them closed'. This is it, flashed through my mind, and as...I closed them, wrinkling up my face in a show of grim determination, perhaps over emphasizing my determination to obey and follow whatever he was going to do, so when I said I disagreed with his theory, I at least could prove it by doing exactly what he was going to do. 'Ok, good', he said softly, and I felt him part my thighs, which. No need for him to see me carry on, it’d just give him a bad dose of useless guilt. “Are you going to be all right, Esme?” he asked quietly, somehow guessing how fragile I felt. He wrapped his arms around me, and in that cocoon of warmth I wept tears as large as my heart. I cried because of how lost and alone I was with Shawn as my lover. But I also wept with the realization that I would be much worse off without, that even a teaspoon of love from Shawn was better than gallons from any other. The next morning we had fruit and began the massaging once again. The first night he wasn't comfortable being naked while he massaged me. I never pushed him but just allowed him to grow into it. Finally the time came to massage the genitals. As I lifted his beautiful penis up into my hands, I remembered that handsome boy wiped-eyed and filled with excitement at his new job out of college. I dreamed then of seeing what he looked like naked, and now nine weeks later, I had his cock in my hand. Some of the captions made the women sound like spoiled bitches, but a couple mentioned a cock cage. I brought up another browser page and used Google to see what they were talking about. I was amazed to see several different leather, metal, and plastic devices for locking up a man's cock. I felt envious and angry that these women were getting so much sex that they had to keep their husband's cock locked up.I got up and composed myself long enough to pour a cup of coffee. I couldn't understand.