Gentler sex my ass. Timid? not MY wife.We were living in northern Wyoming, when the sheriff came out to the house to check on another gun shot report ...n the middle of the night. The first thing he did was blip the siren at the gate so she'd know he was there. The second thing he did was call out, "Jo, it's the Sheriff, can I come up to the house?" The third thing he did was ignore the blood trail from halfway up the walk: the body was on the porch and that's all he cared about. Fourth, he. He knew he could not imagine the degradation of being transformed from a privileged, wealthy young woman with the world at your feet to the literal plaything of a dog in the space of a few weeks. If he was honest, he almost admired her fight; most dog-slaves, though they perhaps attempted to retain some form of human dignity somewhere deep inside themselves, crumbled much more quickly under the constant degradations and debasements he and his handlers inflicted. The feeling quickly passed. So she asks her husband “what should we do?” Husband says “ one thing for sure we don’t fucking spank him!I went to the sperm donor clinic Nurse said “do you want to masturbate in the cup” I said “I know I’m pretty good, but I’m not ready for competition yet”I phoned the local radio station today “Congratulations, you’re our first caller today, if you can answer a simple question you get to win our grand prize of the day; it’s a math question, feeling confident?” I said “I’ve a maths degree and. But my opportunity to win the national championship from the elusive Brian Summers was coming. I’d paint later. I headed for the gym.After two hours of beating a little blue ball into submission, I had my head back on straight. I showered, called the family and told them not to save supper for me, and headed for the studio.As I set up my easel, I thought about the missing self-portrait. Having not told anyone that I had painted it, I still hadn’t told anyone it was missing. I trust my lovers.