. I don’t intend to lose the only parent I have.I have never seen Daddy so despondent or that drunk. Then ... It dawned on me ... I am 20 ... today....Mom ... twentieth ... now I’m depressed.Alice took my keys. I helped daddy finish the 24 pack.“I’m going to be 19,” she said.She was born a year after me. I was born the year before she. I’m a year older ... Alice is a year younger. (Some times I hate english. OMWP)“Yes ... you are. Shall we have a party?” That was what we ... daddy and I meant.. My mouth instantly went dry as nervousness invaded, he stepped out of the darkness and into my living room. He removed his jacket and placed it on the couch as I moved to kill most of the lights recalling our previous encounter I felt it might be better to be in darkness less ruin the illusion of me being not quite female. He stopped me "leave the lights on, I want to look at you", I left them on. The previous encounter I had dressed to the 'nines' I mean all out "Gurl" and he couldn't get the. The day of herhearing finally arrived and she was still unable to locate him.Carol woke after a restless night, staring out her bedroom window. Aharvest moon glowed orange between scattered clouds. She staggered tothe bathroom where she saw dark circles ringing her eyes, giving her thelook of a haggard raccoon. She did what she could with makeup, thencombed her hair and dressed in her best professional skirt and blouse.The morning had turned dark with menacing black clouds threatening. The intoxication came afterwards. Now I had the hangover.My conscience ached. Whether or not this was even the Sally I envisioned, that didn't matter. Either way she wasn't mine to keep. One way or another there was a reason for her to be here, and I wasn't fulfilling my part of the bargain.The problem is, I didn't know what my part of this bargain was supposed to be. I'm pretty certain it's not any Faustian bargain that's going to cost me my soul, but that knowledge doesn't make the moral ache.