A few of the bridesmaids asked me to dance also, I think they felt sorry for me losing my only daughter and not having a date. The reception finally e...ded around ten We all went out and said our good-byes to the newlyweds, we tossed birdseed and made a great deal of noise for their send off. I was so glad to have it finally over.Linda and a few of the remaining guests help load the happy couple’s presents into my car. A few others loaded some in their cars and we took them back to my house. It. I was deep in a sleep that only a child could sleep. Now, thinking back on things, I imagine that night was the last time I slept like a normal person. Sleep has evaded me since, and when it does come it is brief and hectic. I may sleep for two or three hours on an exceptionally good night, but most nights sleep does not come at all. When I do sleep it is disjointed and broken by constant waking, or punctuated with random incoherent dreams. Over the years I have tried all manner of sleep. Dad always had the last word. "I wish!"Figuring that my folks wouldn't have thrown all my stuff out, I went to my room. Just as I had figured, the wardrobe was just as intact as I had left it. The only difference was that someone - and I had a pretty good idea it was Dad - had thrown away all my later swimsuits. Only a red suit that had been too small three years ago remained; I had no other choice but to put it on.Glancing at the mirror, I saw that there was the friendly neighborhood voyeur. I never knew I'd had any children.Call me an idiot. I'd been having sex with thousands of women over nearly fifty years, of course a few of them would have had children from it. It's just that I'd never met any, never heard of any.And now my daughter was sitting in front of me and I couldn't even acknowledge her.I found tears at the edge of my eyes, and looked over to see Sophie, my daughter, my flesh and blood, looking at me curiously."I'm, I'm sorry. I've just ... never met any of m ... of.