He reclined the barber chair so I was laying almost prone then began applying beard cover, foundation, eye shadow, eye-liner, mascara, lip pencil and ...loss, all selected to coordinate with my light pink nails.As Peter was applying each segment of makeup, he did an outstanding job of explaining to me what he was doing and how I would do it next time. When he finished, I put on my wig and he combed it out and asked me which pair of earrings I wanted to wear.I showed him all three pair and he. Bridger came out to see the wagon train today and I used the time he was here to pick his brain about where the best land was in the Willamette Valley. He recommended that we look around the Siuslaw or Umpqua Rivers for the best farmland. If we wanted to ranch he recommended we look around the Klamath River and find a small valley that we could fence in.We made love and this time didn't worry about either the noise or who was making it... July 18, 1847We restarted our journey to Oregon,. I did exactly as I was told and was greeted in the living room by the woman and a man sitting on the couch. Both were naked, sipping wine and smiling. I put down the box, collected by courage and demanded "What's this about? How did you know my phone number? What do you want?" The naked couple kept smiling. He reached for a bottle of wine and poured another glass, passing it to me. I grabbed it as if it was a lifesaver. The woman spread her legs and started playing with herself with one. Maddie, my wife, only saw what it appeared to be at the moment. Even so, after a month of persuading, pushing and yes, even some pouting, she gave in. A month after that, I was dragging my reluctant wife and two very pissed off kids up the dilapidated steps into their "new" home.The first thing that went wrong was announced by my ten year old daughter's scream from the bathroom. I, of course, rushed in to see what the matter was. What I saw was my daughter, Marsha, with the worst scowl I had.