" We should make the horse barn into a bunk house for the family. We need Selma and Ho's room to enlarge the kitchen anyway. You and I can sleep where...Ho did last summer. There is plenty of room for a bath for Peggy and Pete, constructed behind our room. We can make two big rooms and a bath on the first level. Selma can pick the one she wants. It is mostly open underneath the building. With a little excavating we can put in a furnace and one more big room for when we have guests of our own like. We got married a week after we graduated, buying a house and starting our careers. Life was wonderful. First came Charles, our oldest, he's now 8. Sixteen months later it was Michelle, our little Mickey. She's now 6 going on 7. Then 18 months later, Beth, our youngest. We were so happy, oh we had our moments and all but overall, we were in heaven." Then Steve began to change, he became depressed, withdrawn. In the space of six months we went from heaven to hell. Steve was diagnosed with. " I couldn't help smiling at the woman clad incongruouslyin blue overalls wearing bright yellow rubber gloves and a red headscarf. Therewere already dirt smudges on her face. "What's to be done?" I askedas I donned my old white lab coat. By the state Jean was in, it wouldn't bewhite for long. Jean gave me a quick tour and at once I could see how neglectedthe place had been for many years. Threadbare carpets covered the floors, wallpaperhung in tatters from the walls and over all there was a. "Pull in right ... there."I signaled and waited for another minivan to pull out before taking its spot next to the curb, then we climbed out of the car. I felt a mixture of emotions as I got out of the van. There was regret that I'd bowed out of this trip. I missed my girls, and I was now really going to miss Mom. That regret was offset by my resolve to erase the doubts I had last night and work through things this week. The distractions would be almost non-existent with the house empty, and.