Of course, she had begunhaving me practice walking in heels earlier, so that by then I could do itwithout wobbling or stumbling if I went slowly. My ...alanced movementswere small consolation. The footwear shaped my legs to appear morefeminine and still forced me to take small mincing steps. Arianna'sfriends thought it was funny to have me bend forward when offering thetray, so that those behind me got a full-moon view of my bottom. Theyliked to display their cleavage and legs. Sometimes. “Jay. More, okay? Oh, so much more. But the kissy-kissy smoochie-smoochie… Right now, okay? I, uh…”I touched her face. “You have me.”“Good. I want to have you across the breakfast table. Then on the road to Chattanooga.”“See?!? You just did it again.”“What’d I do?” she squeaked.“Tender moment. Then totally clinical.”She smirked. “Okay, I’ll admit to this one. It’s not the time to get so serious. I know what you are to me. You need to understand what I am to you. Think about it.”I thought.. We giggled whenshe told me that he was a good kisser. I admitted that I had dated a fewtimes in school, "I never found the right one that I wanted to settledown with", I said.It was when Jessica confessed to me that she was sorry that she couldnever be a mother. I was sorry too. It was a pity that a woman whosedestiny was to be mother couldn't be one.The MummyI was talking with my dad the same night after the party. "Jessica couldbe the best mummy I could imagine and she can't to be one," I. It’s not like I have any moral legs on which to stand. Still ... even though I want her to leave Bill for me, this isn’t something I’d ever try to do to him. Everything else is bad enough.“Breaking my very last unbroken promise? Yes, very nearly so. Treating him shabbily? Yes, to an extent that opens up entirely unexplored frontiers of self-loathing. The only thing that could possibly be worse is fucking you. Something I was just barely able to talk myself out of doing, by the way.”He was still.