..”“Why, Larry? Why must you go and be with other women? Iʼll fix myself up. Iʼll...”“Too late now, Helen. You couldnʼt provide what I need...so Iʼve gotten it elsewhere and, frankly, itʼs a hell of a lot better than you could ever give me.”“Iʼll change, Larry,” she begged.“Youʼll see. I can be better. Iʼll...”“You can try all you want, Helen, youʼve never been woman enough for me. Oh, youʼre not a bad housekeeper and a pretty good cook, but when it comes to sex you just canʼt give me what I need. One afternoon, I visited Solomon’s place ( he’d given me a key early on in our relationship) and thought I’d surprise him by leaving a few surprises for him in his apartment. Well, I’m the one who ended up getting surprised. In a drawer in Solomon’s bedroom, I found some interesting DVDs. Titles like ‘Black Men like Strapons Too’ along with ‘Strapon Black Ball Buster’ and ‘Black Bi Party’ led me to think that my superbly macho and apparently heterosexual boyfriend had a hidden side to himself.. Vice President, senior staff, thank you for having the confidence in my abilities to lead this very important task force. Mr. President, that introduction reminded me of why my body hurts so much sometimes.”“As the President said, the task force was given a set of directives. The first one of those was to coordinate the search and arrest or bring about the death of Saif Alawai al-Jawfi, who evidence shows to be the explosive expert and master mind of the Minnesota and possibly the Arizona. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'--Jack, 7 yearsThis is also compliements of chuckLittle Johnny is always a real "piece of work"The Polite Way to PeeDuring one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her you have to go to the bathroom?'Michael.