Even though there were plenty of women willing to do anything to take Sam’s mind off his promiscuous estranged wife he declined their offers. He was...still in love with Barbara and seeing the way she was acting broke his heart, Sam rarely went anywhere other than work and home choosing to remain alone drowning his sorrows with excessive quantities of alcohol. … It was just before Christmas that year when Barbara’s life would forever change when she received a call from Jay, she dropped the. I lost my strength to lift it up for it feels like fifty pounds. My body grows numb; my heart slows down the beats easing with time. I sense the release is right at hand and I’ll hear the Reaper’s chime. With so much guilt and so much remorse, I never did apologize. I never really took the time to tell all my friends goodbye. My breathing became shallower and I know; it’s happening now. I'm so scared but still serene as sweat trickled on my. An addiction you'd get help for. This...this isjust sick."I gathered my things, wondering if I'd be able to take anything from theconstruct back into reality. I doubted it, but decided to take the forkwith me, just in case."So, you're leaving again, I take it?" he asked, standing by the door."Yeah. I'm leaving the tuning fork here. I have one just like it at myapartment. After I'm gone, count to sixty and bang itagainst...anything, I don't care. Then put it to your head. I'm gonnado the. I wasn’t sure what this would be about, but if Jawarski agreed I needed to see him, then it was probably important. We had enough irons in the fire now that it was hard to say which crisis this might deal with. Outside the window, I saw the blueish light of pre-dawn.I grabbed my white t-shirt from where I’d dropped it the night before, and hitched up my pajama pants. Following behind Mom, I pulled the shirt on as we went downstairs. In the front hallway, I found Jawarski standing next to a very.