. here for the event,” I stammer. What's wrong with me?“Do you have an invitation?”With slightly shaky hands, I offer my invitation.“Fynn Hoff...ann, I remember your questionnaire. Come in.” I follow her into the building.“Incidentally, I'm Carmen. In the lobby, there is a champagne reception. You look pretty nervous, maybe a glass of champagne will help you relax a bit.”“I'm indeed nervous,” I admit.“That's understandable, many who attend for the first time are nervous. Mostly they are pretty. And now I am as bare as she is. She holds both my hands and pulls me close so that our bodies are touching and our lips meet and our tongues. She whispers to me to come with her and pulls me by the hand down the hall toward the bedroom. As we pass the light in the hall, I can see her better. She looks sofamiliar. Like someone I know...or do I? We enter the bedroom and I see the bed. It is bigger than I remember. It almost takesup the whole room. She pulls me over to it and sits me on. We had arranged marriage. No talking also before marriage. And only one trip which my father booked for the honeymoon we went after our marriage. Nothing after that. Not even for local outings as he is either busy or tired always. Not like you at all.”For this, I was wondering what she meant but didn’t feel like asking her at that time. But I still don’t know what got into me that day. That made me close to her I guess. So I held her right hand while cooking. “So what Bhu darling I will take. They could only be described as ... love.I knew I'd jeopardized my family for the thrill of an affair. I accepted my part in this mess. It was my weakness that put my marriage so close to the edge. David had pushed it to the brink and now it sat there teetering.I curled up on our bed and hugged the picture as the tears began to fill my eyes again. I was amazed I had any more left but there they were. These weren't tears of anger or of sorrow ... these were tears of fear. Now I realized how.