My reasons did not matter to the owner of the school when I got on the mat wearing my gear. Helen was angry and looked like she wanted to be the one t...at knocked his head off. I walked over to Mandy and touched her face.She stared at me.I turned around and walked to the middle of the floor. I bounced in place, bleeding off excess energy. The master smiled accepting the challenge and stood across from me. Helen and the Brazilian instructor cleared the floor. Everyone jostled for a better viewing. However, miracles didn't follow our story and we were far into unknown space by the time we were able to get any control back.I still didn't have enough to drop from light speed, so for all practical purposes we were in an irretrievable position. We'd gone so far into the unmapped and unknown zone that we'd never be found.The Captain was not happy with the news when informed by Thelma, but there was no helping it. When the Captain saw me next it was twenty hours later, at dinner. I was eating. Her reply did not come quickly. I saw her sit and her breathing become shorter, then longer, erratic. I lied, nobody calls you a bitch. You’re the most popular one of us here, you know everyone. Your heart ached? For me? You thought I would reject you? Never. Aghast, I sat and slipped down my pew a little. Yeah Sam. It ached. It was terrible. Like there was something pulling my heart two ways. I love you Sam. But, you had your eyes wide open. Why were they open? They were open because you. I felt very sad about missing him. I learned about masturbation for few days’ masturbation helped me to kill my feelings. I used to finger in the initial days but later on I chose to use candle or carrots to satisfy myself. These also become routine and bored. Masturbation could not help me to overcome my feelings. I didn’t have guts to use any other man. In those same days I had developed habit of watching one of the security boy, while he go for pissing at the back of our flat I was dare to.