"Reality sucks. I wished I could retreat back into my cocoon, but my bubble had dissolved and I knew I couldn't live there anymore. I interrupted him,..."No, I'm going to be fine. I just miss your mother..." I struggled not to break down. "More than I can say, but I need some time to absorb all this. Don't come too early in the morning. I'll probably stay up a while and sleep in."He gave me a firm hug and left without another word. I looked around the house. I hadn't been able to remove a single. It consumes me, wracks me. Leaves me unable to think of anything else, until at last, a text. From him or from me. A plan, a time, and then finally, relief. The sweetest relief imaginable, before circling right back to shock and repentance.Rinse. Repeat. Though I’m physically charged almost every waking minute, I’m mentally drained. So much so, that it took several visits to Ethan’s before it actually occurred to me that I was cheating on Jess. What Ethan and I do feels so different, so other. Whispers in my ear how delicious I look. How he wants to strip me slowly and caress my body, making me shiver at his words. Tempted to touch him, knowing I can't.His voice becoming deeper as his fingers pull the strap of my tank top down my arm. My breasts come into view; he groans at the sight. My nipples hard, the rings that adorn them shining.His mouth hovers over my nipple as the tank top slides down to the floor. Finally, his mouth slips over my nipple. His tongue caressing my ring sending. ‘It’s better than being a toad!’ she grinned back, giving as good as she got. Cockroaches referred to us Queenslanders as ‘cane toads’ after the introduced noxious pest amphibians that proliferated up here. I let our friendly sporting and state rivalry drop for now as I didn’t want to push too far with it and come across as a serious dickhead. I mentally put the facts I had just learnt away for further use down the track though, for the times when my team beat her team and I could cheekily give.