” “Same old shit.” David replied. At times I hated even hearing his voice. ‘Another day in paradise, huh?” With a sarcastic tone, I heard...my husband reply. “Yea, paradise.” Mike went to get his mail and I was holding it my hand waving for him to see it. He kind of laughed and took it from me, handing it to my husband. “There you go, have a good day.” I heard the door open and then my husband asked. “You see Diane today?” “Yep, I saw her walk by on the top road about 15 minutes ago.” . I was envious because there’s all these people who can make choices and I can’t. Oh, I can make the choices, but I don’t have the power to back them up. Simple example: I can decide I want a Little Caesar’s pizza. Oh well, I’m missing so much work right now that’s not an option at the moment. Don’t worry, I’m not asking for your money lol. We have food. It’s just we walk an extremely thin line that’s thinner by the day.As I was getting ready for bed. I thought about as much as my situation. Names have been changed, but this story is completely factual. I am from South Africa and I am white and of european descent. It seems as though not many people know that Thanx to Julie for her editing help I was sitting on the top step of my pool, the water up to my waist. The water was cold, but I had decided to start swimming and get into shape. I’m not a huge exercise freak and during the year I don’t exercise, but college had finished for the year and I was now on holiday, home alone. With my husband holding my hand and by my side, my eyes closed, he began.It felt different, usually it was cold with lots of gel. What he was putting up in me was warm, soft, gentle, and moving around in all the right places. By this time my husband was stroking my hair. I still had my eyes closed. Then I felt something more up in me. It felt so good, so warm, but it was on my clitoris! It startled me, I must have jumped a little.My husband whispered, “It’s ok, just go with it, doesn’t it feel.