The family funeral had been a week ago. Elaine and Louis had wanted to be there but couldn’t be. Elaine had gone into labour during the night.Today,...the First of April, is the first day that the National Trust open the stately home for the year. I had wanted to come, to walk alone down ‘our’ English lane, and say my private farewell to my John, my husband, my lover and my hero. Now I have. I have sat here, looked at the view, remembered John, and I have hummed ‘We’ll gather Lilacs’.I can hear. Ho hum I guess. Actually, I guess there's no point in lying. This made me furious. But since I couldn't express my fury, it made me feel weak and impotent. In some ways, Richard was worse than Stephanie because I viewed him as a rival for my wife. Sadly, he had the inside track. He knew this too and he did little things to guarantee his position. One night, as Richard and Stephanie sat on the couch making out, I accidentally dropped some pink nail polish on his sock - it's an honest. My self-image wasn't enhanced by the fact that Ioccasionally liked to borrow my sister's panties and try them on. Therewas something about the look and feel of panties that excited me. I hadbeen caught by my Mom a couple of times and felt very guilty about it.But all in all, I was a very happy kid. Summer vacations wereespecially fun. I spent most summers with my grandmother at her largehouse in the upscale Lakewood area of Dallas. My late grandfather hadbeen very successful, and "Gran". As her eyes gazed, she could see her taut nipples straining the silky fabric and feel juices running down her inner thighs.Deana whistled and said, "Hot-damn girl, you're a knock out. Jeff won't be able to say no."Deana lay down on the bed. She picked up a magazine next to the bed. While thumbing through its pages, her mind was envisioning the four of them in the same room on the ship. Beads of sweat covered her forehead and her fingers started trembling so badly that she dropped the periodical.