She was so vulnerable there, so dependent. She needed my help and her loving son was there to help her. She didn’t seem angry, I thought to myself. ...fter all, I was there helping her. And she had called me in herself.“Maa haath nahi jaa raha, mein fisal na jaaon?” I said in a shaking voice. (Mom I can’t reach up, my foot might slip.) I was not scoffing anymore. My frustration had vanished and any thoughts I had about the TV were long gone. I just wanted to stay right here, in the bathroom, with. It was difficult to sleep for more than a few hours at a time, the dark hid how long I was in my little box, disorientating me when I woke from my vivid sexual dreams. Hard as I may try, all I could ever accomplish with my fingers in my sissy pussy was a light arousal and my nipples and throat seemed to have lost their sensitivity, I had been stripped of any toys or means to masturbate properly, even on a was taken from me Ona. Not that any of them would have let me enjoy any pleasure I may. There was a beach bar nearby that was always hopping and he would head out there presently. Martin was trying not to be a Peeping Tom but his neighbor was not making it easy. Martin went in to get ready himself. As he was about to leave, he noticed his neighbor was talking on the phone, walked out onto the balcony and looked disappointed, and sat down on the chaise. "Looks like someone has a change of plans," Martin thought. He grabbed his keys and was about to leave when he thought, "I HAVE. I was in a uniqueposition to answer it. I was James. Yet, I was also Bess. Was I moreBess than James now? Clearly, I felt that I was.Nevertheless, I decided I would put myself to the test so I cleared mymind as best I could and focused only on the single issue of motherhoodwith all the scrupulousness, all the strictest standards of integrity towhich I could hold myself. It is agonizing for me to be self-critical,and I normally do my best to avoid it. But in the end my conclusion wasI would have.