Colleen had blown me off when she said, "I cannot work you in today." She had a four-hour break. Why couldn't she work me in for at least one hour? I ...ad tried to set up a time to talk with my own wife and she had made me feel like I was just another prospective appointment. My stomach was in knots and my mind was spinning as I left for work.After I arrived at the shop, I decided to do something I had not done for some time. I went to a florist in the mall and asked them to prepare an. My hand picked up the notebook while he was doing the dishes before I really realized what it was doing and I had to force myself to push it across the table. My mind’s eye had all kinds of ideas of what it contained and I wanted to see it. I imagined our bodies tangled together in the sheets, his lips… With a groan, I abruptly stood up. He looked back at me with a question in his eyes. ‘That notebook is a tool of the devil,’ I announced. ‘I keep picking it up and wanting look inside. Please. She was relaxed now. She was not crying anymore, but still hugging me in d same position. First I felt that she slept in my arms, but then got realised that she was just feeling my touch and was enjoying it. After that I slightly kissed her on her head, and hold her more tightly. She had also made her grip tight and moved closer to me. Her eyes were closed, but I could feel her increased heart beats and heavy breadth. She was lost in my touch. Then I asked her about raj, that what is he saying. I thought only about breathing. I had to force my neck to relax and let my mouth hang open. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over, falling down my cheeks. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't even fearful. I was just disappointed that I had let him down. I knew better than to challenge him."Use your hand."My hand? I remembered having seen Felicia use her hand at his root. I wrapped my fingers around him and tried to mimic the motions I'd seen her use."Up." He pulled at my arms and forced me to my.