“James me boy,” he said ominously, “Have you any thoughts about marrying yet?”“No father” I admitted, “I have another year studying at O...ford before I even think of dalliances.”“Its all very well being buggered senseless when your a pup,” he explained, “But for propriety.”“I’ve never been buggered in my life nor shall be,” I exclaimed. Sometimes I wondered how I could possibly be related to my father so peculiar were his views.“Well wanking then, sure a fate you will go blind.” he added.“Father. I lay there drifting in and out of sleep until my phone started ringing. It was playing the song “Secret Lovers” and knew it had to be Rita, since she was the only one who had my number, so I answered it.“You downloaded Secret Lovers?”“Yea I thought it was the perfect song for our situation, do you like it?”“It does kinda fit, its ok I guess. What you doing up?”“Thinking about you of course. I’m wearing that lingerie I had on in the store today.”“Really! You look so sexy in it, like you belong. ”The games master’s face paled with shock, inadvertently I had chosen the number of players in a Rugby League team. He reached into his desk drawer and withdrew a bell, which he hung about my neck to warn the rest of the school I was unclean.Okay, so I’m exaggerating and no bell was produced, but I was banned from playing Rugby Union in case I contaminated the other pupils with rugbyleagueitis. So instead of taking part in bloody and bruising games of ‘rugger’ I went cross-country running with. ‘well, yesterday night I got drunk and told Jane things I shouldn’t have’. I wondered what Linda could have said to Jane, her best friend. ‘Tell me, Linda. Don’t worry. You can trust me’, I’ve said. ‘Well Ed, Jane told me that her fantasy is to fuck a man with a strapon. By mistake, being too drunk, I told her about us. I also told her about our deal.’ I couldn’t believe it. Linda told Jane, that she fucks me on a regular basis … Before I’ve even managed to say something, Linda added:.