30, I panicked and hurtled downstairs, grabbed her case from the car, and rushed to the cellar where I unfastened the manacles and insisted she dress,...she pushed past, out-running me and rushed for the bathroom.I grabbed my uniform and brought her case to the bedroom where she was desperately trying to shift the fuck-slut wording across her forehead so I doused her liberally with perfume, and then she slipped on a little black dress, "No business suit!" I shouted and I lunged for the cellar and. Fifteen years Mom's senior, Hank was authoritarian, pig-headed and so far up his own ass it was the only thing kept his hair brown. He'd tried to raise me as a Navy k** and I hated the idea, left home as soon as I could. I wouldn't miss him -- in fact, I was glad he'd gone. I was pretty sure Mom wasn't going to miss him much either.That first night we pulled of I-40 just past Winston-Salem and drove into woods away from sight. Mom went into the trees to pee again and then I did the same. She. I later learned that she also wanted a few more moments alone with R.J. before they closed the casket.Recalling the sheer volume of people at the visitation, and knowing the church was not that large, Lisa and I decided to arrive early. I stopped at Starbucks to get coffee for both of us.I placed my order and paused to run my hand over my face, trying to stave off the overwhelming fatigue. The barista noticed and chuckled. “Gotta get you your coffee, man,” he said. “You look exhausted.”I. The detective pushed through the crowd and looked down at the khaki trousers I was wearing. Well, they were sort of crimson and purplish now, and shook his head.“Keerist, what a fuckin’ mess. Hold on, kid, the EMTs are on their way. I think you’ll be okay for a minute or two more.” His expression was concerned though. He turned to the noise-sensitive patrolman with a scowl.“Put that club away and take the cuffs off, fer Christ’s sake, he sure as fuck ain’t runnin’ nowhere.”The ambulance did.