He didn't try to make me smile. Most try endlessly to make me smile. I hate it. He did say "Frown" though when he went to take my picture. I thought t...at was a nice touch. It made him smile when I told him. Then he got all nervous when he asked if I'd be willing to model for his club sometime. No I didn't rip his head off or anything. I just politely declined. He was disappointed but he took it ok.I said, "Sorry" and he said, "It's ok. I had to ask, right?" I just shrugged. He didn't have to. Fine by me, all the better for me to tell you what I want. After beating around the bush a little asking about girl's clothes I went ahead and asked about panties.She moved some sweaters and the treasure was revealed. A pile of her daughter's used underwear was waiting for me to purchase, and she was all about making a couple of bucks selling them. I told her I would take the lot, and she smiled and said great. I asked if she had change, and she said she would have to run in the house and. Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this,. Fuck these old guys! I had been used to young boys who squirted at the drop of a hat. Moving closer, I had mashed my bare tits into his back and moved them around a little. His hard-on had stiffened and soon he had been squirting all over the floor. I had stepped back, looked at Caleb, and smiled licking the non-existent cum off my fingers. That had been when all hell broke loose and I had been unceremoniously welcomed to the shitshow.Caleb:Tension had been building in my chest ramping up.