As I had for the last week, I reran the images of Lucy and me watching the movie. Even though she and I agreed that it never happened, I couldn’t ge... it out of my mind. The pendulum of my emotions swung from self loathing to raging sexual urges.Lucy was far from beautiful, but that didn’t matter. She had stood beside me for the last twenty years. She meant a lot more to me than a convenient piece of ass. She was family and that was both a blessing and a problem. In a perfect world her curvy. The husband grew very abusive verbally and physical to both Jay and the wife. Jay said some nights he could hear him chocking the wife and saying things like " I'm gonna kill you and that nigga". As a k** Jay hated bedtime. He thought for sure one night his dad would be standing over him preparing to strangle him to death. As a k** and even in adult hood he would have dreams of his dad strangling him to death in his sleep. The other theory is that Jay had done something while in the gang that. I was shaking as I took their drinks orders and could not look at them inthe face. "After you have served the drinks you can bring in the firstcourse," said the Mistress.While I was busy at the drinks cabinet, the Mistress said to Sam "How wasyour cruise dear? Did a handsome man sweep you off your feet?" Oh, Auntie, it was delightful. It is as if I was born to a luxurylifestyle and the attentive service. I had many admirers, some of themmarried, but of course being a cruise many of them were. Sure she had ideas. She wanted to build a life with her son. Funny how dreams remain so simple, and yet to arrive at those dreams one has to cross streams of complexities, seas of conflict and confrontation, and oceans of uncertainty. There is no grander, more illustrious, and more farfetched dream than the simple dream, and most of us, through the course of our temporary lives, save those dreams like ships in a bottle, wasting our time, our years, not in pursuit of our simple dreams, but.