There was no way I could let this go any further. I was losing the power I had over myself.“Ohh… Come on, Kapil… Maybe… Maybe, I am just feeli...g things… You know how nights like these can be…” she restarted the conversation in a very diluted pitch.She was certain I was going to back out, right there. And, she could not let that happen. She just had to resume this.“I miss him, you know. But, it is okay. This feels good. And I am glad you are here. In fact, this feels so much better,” she. Sandy and I were starting to think we would have to hit you over the head with a brick to get you to wake up and smell the roses." I guessed I could blame it on being so busy doing for others that I had no time to think of my life.I called Judy the next day and asked her if she would like to go out with me the next Saturday. She didn't hesitate at all when she said "I think that would be nice. What time would you like to pick me up?" "As long as I meet with Sandy's approval, we can see a movie. “We sure do Hoot, you’re the bestest,” Little Tom said.“I just love sitting next to your sexy ass myself. I hope I don’t attack you before the nights over Hoot,” Ellen whispered in his ear.“Dang it and here I was hoping to get attacked by the sexiest cashier to ever ring up a dollar at Perkin’s Supermarket Ellen,” Hoot said in a loud whisper and the others giggled at his silly ass as they drove out to The Burger House to eat.They young couples walked in holding hands with their dates. They knew. “Get naked,” spoken like he’s telling a dog to get off the sofa without looking to see if the animal is even there.I just strip unbidden - whether waiting in this barn or upon entering a room ahead of him. It’s a vicarious swill of control slurped from a blistering sweet cauldron of submission.Finally, brilliant light dissipates the gloom as the barn doors groan open, but I don’t have the courage to abandon the fascination of my dirty feet. It’s not fear of Byron, but fear of what else I might,.