So I let things drift apart. It wasn't like I broke up with her. I just let it wither on the vine. A year later she was kissing Jimmy Hoskins, and did...'t know I was alive. I'd been regretting it for two decades, and had been looking for another Ruth Ann ever since.I hadn't found one yet, but I had her grocery list. I was sure of that. I was going to find her if it killed me. And I wasn't going to make the same mistake I'd made with Ruth Ann.You may think I'm being too hard on myself. You're. So she'd been watching him as he masturbated."Alex?" Huh? Oh, that's something called masturbating... it's something guys and girls can do." But we don't have penises!"Alex pointed as close to her crotch as he could. "You can do it with your vagina. Here, let me show you."He couldn't believe those words just came out of his mouth, nor could he believe that he was pulling down her pyjama bottoms to reveal a tiny pink vagina. It was moist. Emma didn't struggle as Alex directed her fingers in her. I was sl**ping nude that night, and had my sex toys out for a bit of self time for myself, when my phone rang. It was a friend of my fathers, asking if I could drive out and pick them up, they were too d***k to drive, and it was daddy’s car they were in. I angrily climbed out of bed and climbed into a loose fitting frock, this was going to be a quick pick-up and drop off, so I dispensed with the need to put any underwear on, and set off in the direction of the pub, where they waited. As I drove. Are you okay?" "Of course I am, what would make you think that I wasn't" "I thought I heard you cry..." I wasn't crying, I'm fine just... just leave already." I wasn't sure if there was anything that I could say that would convince me to stay and thought of leaving. I knew I couldn't though. Because as shy as I was at school I still cared a lot about other people, especially him. I decided that I would stick around no matter what until I had found out was wrong."I can't leave." "Why not?"“I.