She turned around and saw Christian on a stool fixing the ceiling fan. He was in a white tank top and white khaki shorts. Karmen loved it when he woul... wear tank tops, showing off his well-sculpted muscular arms. She loved being held there, close to his chest. Day dreaming, Karmen imagined herself walking to Christian, running her hands over his body, kissing every inch of him and then driving him mad with teasing till he would take her right then and there. Sighing, Karmen smiled and started. Chayne first knew cocaine was evil when she did a line while attending a party. Her favorite band and was playing and she was dancing and having a blast. When she took her first line it was as if the music stopped. She felt a disconnect from the comfort that music provided to her soul. The loss of comfort welcomed darkness into her spirit. She did not care and she did not feel. Self sabotage is such a curious thing. She doesn’t want to be numb and disconnected from Dirty and she surely does. " He stood. "Must be going," he said, and left hurriedly. He seemed choked up, she thought.It was immediately after he had gone she saw the music magazine he had forgotten to pick up from the seat. She picked it up and idly skimmed through it as she listened to the group sing. Then she was arrested by an article on the band's tour. It took up two pages, and the first assessed the success of the tour and the individual gigs, commenting on the varying responses of the audiences in different. Her mother always seemed so fragile under the surface. Other people sawher as this dynamo, as this strong, independent, dominating presence,taking charge, telling off-color jokes, poking holes in thepretentiousness of others. But Phoebe could tell that there was somethingfrighteningly brittle about her mom's bluff self-confidence, that hersense of her own infallibility rested on the skimpiest of scaffolding.She could be so judgmental, so sharp-tongued and sarcastic. Peoplerecoiled, yes, they.